dark

 

 

who's afraid of the existential? not me babes. in a perverse way (which i shan't go into here) it's a kinda comfort zone. for me.

4me, the existential and the trans are bound together. what, ultimately, isn't bound up in the extistential? but with trans i think it's more than that. the absurdity, the frustration, the exhilaration of the existential is presented to me in a neat example by my transness. the absurdity, the frustration, the exhilaration of trans stinks of the existential.

not for one second do i think 'i'm so unlucky. if only i could be like those cis normal people for whom life is good'. yuk! how i disdain such an attitude.

crossdreaming is exhilarating. crossdreaming is oooh crossdreaming is OMG!!! the forlorness, the drudgery,the banality is  cut through so keenly. it's not RL but it is our real lives. suddenly there's zing, suddenly there's passion, suddenly there's something that makes me feel alive and makes me feel that being alive could be a gas. crossdreaming exhilarates in a way that confers meaning, positivity. 

 so, Jean-Paul Sartre, tell me, what do you reckon? xx