becoming a queen

 as i have said before, i like the term 'queen'. obviously there's the royal conceit, but beyond that...oh, it just feels lovely. it's far away from contemporary identity politics. it doesn't make any claims, it just describes male-bodied people into being feminine.

i suppose mostly i believe 'you are what you feel'. but another perspective is 'you are what you do'. according to that criterion, through my online activity i have become a queen. online works for me. i leave all trace of masculine body behind in rl. 

i am proud to have become a queen.

 

 

 there remains the issue of how central is my queenery to who i am. right now it seems pretty central. if scoiety's attitudes had been different it might have been more integrated, less of an alternative identity. indeed my whole development might have been quite different. but society's attitudes were and are as they were and are. no self-pity: throughout the history of the world a vast proportion of people have been far more oppressed than me. we have to adapt to where we are - that's the human condition.

is there an element of self-love in this? maybe there is, in reaction to the unsympathetic rl environment, which encourages self-hatred and denial, and thwarts healthy outer expression and connection with others. it's not just society's disapproval, it's the sheer clash with bodily reality. but thankfully the online realm provides healing opportunities.

 if you are a queen, please feel good about it. it's just sooh lovely. xxx